Guido’s Practical Guide to Life

Since I have achieved so much in so little time my friends have asked me to please explain some things about life. Well here goes.

I will add to this list as I go.

FAQ

What has made you Laugh Guido

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTUY16CkS-k But then I cried.

FAQ

Right wing Nutcakes and Lybia or Egypt.

These guys are like a dog when they first look in a mirror, OH another DOG–Hey he is big one and nasty looking-- I better growl. At least the dog figures out it is just another version of him. These guys are dead set against these homegrown freedom nuts that want to be able to run their own country. Some even want to have a religious flavor to the political spectrum. Sounds exactly the same as the guys we have here, just a different religion. If the Reagan and Bush presidencies did not exist we would not have the current budget problems. Both Reagan and Bush each spent more money than any other president on military spending that enriched only a few. That few trickle down their wealth–to me it looks like some kind of yellow liquid that is definitely not gold. Even Lincoln with a long Civil war did not waste the kind of money that Bush and Reagan did! The stock market does better with a Democrat in the Whitehouse, the budget is balanced with a Democrat in the Whitehouse. Why does this seem to be a secret? Reagan did not cause Russia to fall away from Communism, he may have helped a little, but it was already happening. The Berlin wall fell, Gadaffi will fall, these petty dictators we keep supporting will all fall and eventually be crushed. We do not need to send our boys to die in some foreign country, we do not need to waste our wealth in supporting some dictator. We need to support a global reasoned effort to help elected governments prosper. George Bush got a balanced budget and a surplus when he started out, then he outspent every previous President. We did not need to waste our young men and women and wealth in a country that will soon escort us out. We can look to Egypt and Lybia for the current answer, let’s not use any more American Blood to keep these bums in power.4/14/2011

You talk about a teeter totter of life, what is up with that?

Everything has a balance, for every thing you want or buy or do there is a equal and opposite reaction. Some guy took my idea and it was mentioned in the WSJ®. I have been putting it my lectures since I first started in the 70's. Say you want to buy a nice house in a nice neighborhood that has great weather. Well you are going to have to pay for that because it is desirable. You buy a Yugo®, it is not costly, but maintenance will kill you. You marry high maintenance spouse, your life is exciting and you better be able to buy them diamonds, Ferrari cars® etc. Marry a low maintenance spouse and you are looking at paying for high dollar entertainment somewhere else. But you do not need to worry about the high cost thing. You want an easy job OK but do not expect big bucks, you get paid for doing what others do not want to do and is seen as difficult to do. Be carful about this because some things that are difficult to do do not automatically earn more money. Get a safe job in a low paying area or do risky work and sometimes get high financial rewards. Most often you get more money for what you know not what you do. Compare refinery workers with lawyers--oh well there is always an exception to every rule.

Why did the Bush Recession of 2008 happen?

The Banking system collapsed. It can be traced back to the big favor Bush did when he changed the Bankruptcy rules. That’s right folks, every action has an equal and opposite reaction. When the danger to the bankers was removed, they went nuts. They lent money to every idiot around, they “Knew” that because the BK rules were changed heavily in their favor –They could do no wrong. The normal reticence for a banker is that he will lend money to someone who is unqualified to pay it back. In the past if a banker did that the Unqualified could go BK, so the banker kept in line. The bankers dream of forcing everybody to pay up–Has in reality become his worst nightmare. The bankers went nuts giving away money thinking they would get their money back no matter what–Guess what, they gave their money to totally unqualified people who will never have not only a pot to pee in, but they will not have a window to throw it out of. Now the bankers are so afraid that they will not lend anybody anything. They are not making any interest, and they are going down. They only make money when they lend money. They want to sell stock, they want to sell insurance, they want to do anything but be bankers–“it is too hard to be a Banker”. If you read history the same thing happened in 1929, so we separated banks from insurance from stock sellers. Where are we today? 27Jan09 OK it is now 2011 and have any of these jerks been sent to jail? No who is handling the Treasury? The same jerks who did the baking failure. Great kids this will eventually really get messy. It will be our fault because we did nothing to stop them.

Why not live in a Risk Free World?

There are a few things that come to mind here. For example if you make something idiot proof, only and idiot will want to use it. Human beings thrive on risk. Marry an exciting loving person and discover how much risk you face. I did some days she would kill me in a second, but other days–VAVAVOOM.. She can make me sing, dance and cry for help al at the same time. Oh boy I love that woman! What would happen if there was no risk in a sporting event? It would be the most unwatched event ever. People would rather watch paint dry. Where do we go to vacation? We go to Las Vegas, where you can loose everything you own! Do you see my point? Risk is what keeps us in line, we thrive on risk, we seek out risk. The “Safest Sport” golfing offers the greatest financial reward, because if there was no risk/reward in the game there would be no players. On the other hand Motocross is the most watched and participated event around. There are a heck of a lot of guys with pins, plates etc from Motocross. Big risk, and very little cash rewards. Now when we remove risk from an enterprise based on risk, what do we get? Ok let’s take the Banking business. A typical risk vs reward enterprise. A banker makes a loan to someone who can well afford the loan, he will have to contend with competition others eager to lend the money. He then sets the interest (his profit) at as low a level as he can to stave off competition and still make something. Where is the risk there you may ask. You are right very little risk, very little profit. So the banker makes loans to less credit worthy individuals, at higher interest rates. More potential profit, that is simple. But now we have a banker who wants to short circuit the risk so he can make more money. Less risk. The society changes laws so the banker can practically put the borrower in jail if he does not pay up. What now? Well we see the results today February 2009. Banks will not lend to anybody because they have over extended credit to the absolutely credit unworthy. Now good businesses cannot get loans for typical valid uses. Normal business is literally stopping because of the inability to obtain credit for any venture. Two years ago you could get a big line of credit on your master card®, buy a house, buy a car, or go on a vacation with no ability to repay the debt. Credit card interest is unbelievably high. What nice profits for the bankers. Oops what happened? Look Bernie Maddoff is not the only one running a Ponzi Scheme. Bernie’s was just one of the less subtle ones. What are the answers? Back to basics, banks must be only banks, not insurance, stock brokers or even toaster salesmen. They need to be effectively regulated deposit insurance gives them a resistance to foolish decisions. They get bailed out when they do something really foolish. So they need to be limited to a low, regulated profit margin, with limits on executive pay. That would remove some incentive to take unreliable high interest loans. Interest should be limited to levels set by government regulators, the current thirty percent credit card ceiling is far too high and only incites issuance of credit to the credit unworthy. By the way you know who pays for the bankers exorbitant life style and pays to fix his mistakes, we do (You and me) I am certain that these are the guys who keep want to lower taxes, and then do something that will raise taxes.5Feb09

What about putting my Social Security in a private Fund?

That is a really really half baked idea. Should you have Maddoff invest your funds for you, 10 percent a year? If there ever was a half baked idea the privatization of social security was it. Isn’t it strange, but I do not hear Newt saying “gee we should get Social Security privatized right away”. In fact Social Security is managed better than any other financial product. The cost of management is lower than any other financial plan. The earnings are better than anything else, and the security is the best there is, unless some scumbag gets there hands on it and invests it for you. Don’t let anybody change the Social Security System, it will ruin our Great Country if we let anybody change the system.27Jan09

Should I refinance my Home?

Ah yes that goose, why not just kill it and get the gold from inside instead of waiting for the eggs. Well here goes. If you refinance your home to pay off bills, or buy a car what you are doing is taking a 30 year note on a car or dinner with friends. If you do not earn enough to buy the car and pay for it in the next three(Yes Three Years) you do not need the car. If you cannot buy dinner with cash, stick to beans and weenies at home. Period that’s it. Well let’s say you refinance your home anyway, now if you get into trouble you cannot just walk away. After you refinance the old homestead, you can no longer blame the bank for giving you too much money. That’s right you win the right to pay it all back with big penalties. (Bankruptcy) running away from home- will not work. You will pay and pay. So trade your house in for another one, or keep it and buy another one. Right now rents do not pay for the typical mortgage payment, so it will be hard to become the next Trump. 4/2005

Why are men and women so different?

Because--- Now That is a dumb question.

But let me explain some basic biology.

Men need to have many children with many different women to make certain that they live forever. (You gonna die, but if you do it right your kids will outlive you.) So if you gotta lotta kids you live forever in the kids.

Women however get stuck with the kids nine months before birth, and then at least 10 to eighteen years after. Sometimes thirty. (Hot tip) (Take them to some third world country or someplace where they work at an early age, like Detroit.) So women need to have just a few that are well protected by some one who will care for the woman and kids for about twenty or thirty years.

See the conflict here? We are just looking at the tip of the iceberg here.

PS Last week I tried to take “my baby” to a Fire Station for a no questions asked drop off. Wow that did not work. First off they will only take tiny babies! They did say if Guido Jr. applied for a job next year he might make it. On account of him being so big strong and friendly to everybody except me! I just want him to go to university, study and be something., but Guido, no he just wants to snuggle with his sister’s girlfriends. Oh well.4/2005

What is Advice?

Something that you ask for when you have already made up your mind to do something. The answers had better be something that you want to hear, or you will reject the advice since it was incorrect anyway.12/22/08

What happened after World War II?

Who won WWII, well the first bad omen was when they got rid of Churchill right after the war! Here is the GUY who saved everybody. Were they grateful, no not really, until they got over the war, then “Thanks but we want to do something else that is easier.” Well what is happening now. Hitler’s dream of a united European Government is a reality. A few minor changes, the Euro is the coin of the realm, not the now obsolete Deutschmark, Germans are a big part of the European Government, but not the whole enchilada. The United States of America is soon to become a totally socialized country. Government owned Auto manufacturers, Banks, and even Stock Brokers. I have been careful to invest my money in money and medical services, in the next few months everybody is going to have a coronary when they finally find out what has happened with the brilliant decisions of the Bush administration.12/22/08

Why did the Democrats win?

They did not really win, Obama won. He may wish he did not win after all. Here in the States we are seeing the most organized administration, possibly ever. As someone said, we don’t get the Black guys involved until we really screw things up and then we ask them to come in and fix things. IMHO we picked the guy who will be seen by history as the most effective president ever. He has the greatest challenge ever for any President. The morass left by the Contract on America and the Bush legacy is formidable. For example State is so screwed up that it will take Hillary to fix it, as my daughter once said “The reason I am so effective politically is that I have grown up in a family where my Mom would kill my Dad, no matter what happened to her. I had to learn young what to say and when to say it early on.” Hillary has survived the most trying times and she certainly has been given the twisted end of the stick . She will be able to straighten out State, look how she did in previous tough situations. She just rose above the swill, and went on to prevail. Some dumbass Republican was being critical because Obama has yet to appoint a Republican, except for Gates, to a cabinet position. Please tell me who was appointed to a cabinet position in the last administration who was a Democrat? Doesn’t he get any credit for Gates anyway? 12/22/08

Is it going to worse?

Is the pope a Nazi? Of course it is going to get worse, we have just put the next thirty years of GDP into a war with absolutely no hope of any return. There is no Marshall plan here, just a lot of money spent on KBR and other Contractors. The original Bush plan for getting the oil has failed. We denied we were going to war for oil, and then we made the lie come true. We blew the oil steal deal. Osama Bin Laden is most likely laughing himself to death, he has gotten everything he wanted. We are out of Saudi Arabia, we are enmeshed in a costly unpopular war that we cannot ever win. We are unpopular with the rest of the world, and we no longer hold the higher ground when it comes to torture or human rights. If George Bush ever was aided by the Bin Laden Family the family is now even. Osama got his way and we have wasted our children’s heritage. Good job George!12/22/08

How come we can’t find Bin Laden?

Because we are not really looking. If you think anybody could not be found --Think again. Good sources tell us that we have had him in our rifle sites, but then could not get permission to kill the guy. Nice going guys, let’s get it together and as the shoe people say “Just do it”.12/22/08

Recommended reading

Naomi Klein Steven King both of them scare the shit out of you!12/22/08

How can I get rich from this mess, or Useful information?

Get very liquid, that is get all your cash together and wait for some awesome bargains in the market and especially real estate. Will Rogers had it right, buy dirt and especially buy dirt in California. I did and I have never regretted it! The Banks are going to be holding a bunch of it. They will be greedy and not sell early, they will wait until they have no options and then they will have a fire sale! They are more like pigs than they realize. They will not reply to reasonable early offers. They will eschew them with a surly and arrogant response. But wait until they are finally in the same COD corner-- because they ignored reasonable offers, then they will be squealing and giving away the store. Can’t get liquid? Please see my advice from 2005 .12/22/08

Is there a real loss of money in the Stock Market?

Poor Ponzi, he only did what had been done before, but he got the moniker. Look I sell you a piece of shit for 1000.00, I am up 1000.00 you sell it for 2000.00 now you are up 1000.00, the next guy sells it for 4000.00 he is up 2000.00. The next guy sells it for 5000.00 because of it’s intrinsic value (after all it has rising in value very rapidly, that must have some value). He is up 3000.00, finally the marketplace says wisely, hey that is just a piece of shit. Suddenly the last guy loses 5000.00. Yo Ponzi, did the market really loose 5000.00? No not really just the last guy, so don’t be that last guy! Remember he gave the next to the last guy 5000.00. I still have my 1000.00 bucks for selling that piece of shit! So do the other guys, and best of all the brokers still got their commissions. Sweet! It is just market adjustments, 0 sum game no real losses, just redistribution. Money, no inflation no loss! In inflationary times those in the greatest amount of debt make the most gains. 12/22/08

Is inflation just around the corner?

You want to be cash rich so you can get deeply into debt, and then when inflation comes, you are on the road, YES. PS do not borrow anything predicated on ARMs. Fixed rate only! This is serious shit! Do not borrow anything with an ARM. Ever, never ever. Do not hold cash in an inflationary environment, borrow your ass off before the inflation hits! See the warning before this recommendation. But perhaps the tooth fairy will pay off the national debt, or we will win the Super Duper Lotto, otherwise expect some killer inflation. Inflationary times favor the incompetent and the indebted. 12/2008

What are safe investments?

Yourself, education. Get that law or medical license. Get that advanced degree. Look at me, I have an MD, JD an a PhD and an MBA. I can, cut you, sue you and tell you about your chances of moral success and then sell you some snake oil. I am ready are you? Then I tell you buy dirt, and buy it cheap. Buy dirt or property where you can drive by it on a daily basis. Do not buy dirt some far away place, unless you have a easy way to get to that faraway place. Do not buy dirt until there is an inflationary fiscal environment. Invest in Health Service products, invest in hard environmentally sound services, agriculture, mining, and renewable enterprises. Look for fiscally responsible enterprises that do not pay their directors the earth, buy the companies that are owned by the board members, who take only stock as compensation. Cisco is one of my favorites! There is a really important benefit to playing by the rules, even when you get screwed most of the time. Eventually you will prevail. See WWII discussion earlier. The real problem is out living the bastards who suck up everything in site, the short timers. 12/2008

What really caused this worst recession since the "Great Depression" of 1929?

First off, what a bunch of jerks we are. This is like the Great Depression, but we will not admit it, we prefer to call it a recession. What pencil head decides when 10 percent unemployed is a depression, not a recession. If you are the one in ten you really do not give a rat's ass what some pencil head calls it. You need to be working! What has caused all the recessions, depressions, burst bubbles is basically the same dumb thing. Somebody is able to rip off a huge number of people. Selling tulips, mortgages, whatever. The imbalance caused by a significant amount of easy money, (Ill Gotten Gains) finally comes home and robs those who actually work to produce what we consume. Right now farmers cannot get money--LOANS-- to feed the cows, buy the seed etc. That will cost you! The availability of milk will cause the cost to rise. This will spiral on. You do not need to just use the farmers as the example, anyone who is a primary produced of goods has been hurt by the greed and excesses of the guys who do nothing to produce, they arrange mortgages and collect commissions etc. October 2009